a book by Susan Scott
Summary
During my holiday travels, I’ve been listening to the audio book of Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. After seeing her Ted Talk, I had to download and start it right away. I’ve read (listened to) several great books this year, but this is right up there among them, for several reasons.
Firstly, I love Susan’s writing style. And better yet, she narrates her own audiobook, and it results in a fun and flowing yet elegantly concise and densely packed book of wisdom.
Secondly, she starts with coaching for how to have honest conversations with yourself. As many of us have experienced first-hand, it’s good to get away, maybe on nature walks or vacation travels, and have a deeply meaningful introspective session with yourself to understand what you really want and why.
And ultimately, once you’ve mastered (or at least developed a little proficiency) in having fierce conversations with yourself, Susan guides us through having those conversations with others we care about. This should include your life partner, children, and work team members. And the beauty of it is that it’s not confrontational – at least not in the traditional sense. She unveils a technique for challenging ourselves and each other with honest and meaningful questions that help us explore our most impactful issues, and in the most helpful light.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand themselves or their relationships better – and I truly hope that includes every adult.
Notable Quotes
- “Success occurs one conversation at a time.” – Susan Scott
- “Begin listening to yourself as you’ve never listened before.” – Susan Scott
- “You get what you tolerate.” – Susan Scott
- This one is quite similar to one of my life aphorisms, “You get what you settle for.” I came up with this in my consulting and coaching work when I realized that most people avoid difficult conversations and therefore any hope of improving their situation, thus dooming themselves to a life of continuous frustration.
- “While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a company, a relationship, or a life, any single conversation can.” – Susan Scott
Deeper Discussion
If you’re interested, there’s an in-depth book summary including some cool infographics here: Book Summary – Fierce Conversations (readingraphics.com)
Some of my Vistage colleagues have pointed out that the Mineral Rights technique outlined by Susan Scott in the book wasn’t her invention, but something that was developed incrementally by senior Vistage Coaches comparing notes and trading best practices. But as with most great thought models, the value is not just in the invention but in the publication of the framework and its adoption by the masses.
At Vistage, we use the techniques outlined in Fierce Conversations in several phases of our coaching. And personally, I’m loving these new skills and looking forward to further internalizing and naturalizing their application.
If you like the idea of understanding yourself more deeply and learning how to interact more productively with everyone else in your life – especially your work team, contact me about leadership coaching and joining my Executive Peer Group.
